time and time again…
yet this time more so
don’t you think it’s strange,
how a shared pancake can be life changing?
it was the opposite of the final straw.
it was the catalyst for the rising curtain of the beginning,
starting a chain reaction of Biblical proportion,
a new free-fall dive
into the inner deep,
silence tearing up the very foundations
of the ocean floor,
of this life lived on the dangerous edges
of the radical cliffs of self-examination.
Seven days of seismic eruption
creating volcanic activity so great
long gestating in the souls womb,
burst forth –
ready to scream in their own voice,
into this wonderful world.
as if no longer able to remain
hidden inside their clay container.
Seven days so extraordinary
they have changed my world
as I have always known it.
uncovering the naked bones of my foundation,
exposing the shadowy villains of my learned weaknesses,
giving me new strength to heal those newly uncovered,
rotted, shattered places.
in this place of my own choosing
I walk, choosing to be soft,
in spite of the gripping fear.
I choose vulnerability as my guide forward,
into the fury of places I have long avoided.
somehow, all of this,
including not knowing much of things
I dearly wish I knew,
brings me hope for the brilliant future
of this long-awaited life,
no longer holding back
but fully, wholly, inhabited,
at this current phase of growth,
as it should be
when we fall completely,
head over heels,
Amy Lloyd (AL)