2…the space between
“For us women the spiritual life, in one way, is easier than for men. Only a certain temperament of man can surrender like we can surrender. And spiritual life is surrender. Bhai Sahib said, ‘Women are taken up through the path of love, for love is a feminine mystery.’ He said we women do not need many spiritual practices. We need only to renounce. Renounce what? Renounce the world. Complete renunciation, which is the most difficult thing for the woman, is necessary. I had to do it—to give everything away. Bhai Sahib said to me, “You cannot say to the Beloved, ‘Oh I love you, but this is mine, and so far and no further.'” You have to give everything away, including yourself, in complete surrender.”
~ Irina Tweedie (20th century Russian Sufi mystic)
Yesterday, this poem (below) resurfaced. I wrote it a while ago, after a disappointment. It immediately spoke up and wanted to appear on the blog…I said, hmmmm, do I really want to go there in public? It kept saying, yes (and refusing to be ignored). OK. Surrender brings humility. Rejection beings a chance to learn new layers. Love, and life, require courage.
have you ever given,
a gift –
We’ve built a whole retail myth of love
‘Re-gifting’ is a popular side effect
of things taken,
out of obligation,
by others who don’t want,
or think they need,
the present presented.
It’s a thing in relationships as well,
it takes two to tango.
If one person is wanting something,
the other is not able to understand,
it just doesn’t work.
This week I experienced a return.
My greatest gift,
the gift of me,
held out to another.
My gift was not wanted,
so, eventually, I withdrew
this large, tall gift of
complete with all I have to bring to a relationship.
I wanted to share this with someone,
who I love,
but that person doesn’t want the same thing I want.
This gift of sharing all of the various shades, shapes and colors of our souls
in this amazing thing called life.
One of my lessons,
hardest learned –
you can’t give someone something,
if they don’t want it.
I have become mindfully committed to
not allowing a glimpse of possibility,
to derail me from what I really want.
Never. never. never….
Never. never. never….
You can make lemonade from lemons,
you can’t make a silk purse
out of a sow’s ear.
This week I received blessed closure.
The final collapse of space held for another to enter
The invitation explored,
I moved into new, beautiful space.
No more allowing,
or trying to give myself
to someone who didn’t really want what I have to give.
It’s not wrong,
it’s just painful.
Unconditional love is free,
living and giving it
requires responsibility to living my highest and best
and requiring that in return.
I believe in it,
it will cost you,
require much more than cheaper versions of love.
Not everyone can accept the responsibility of this gift,
which always requires the best of us,
the same in gift in return,
knowing its value,
tenderest of care,
thinking of the other,
stepping out of our ego,
into its vast ocean of mystery,
life changing grace.
This week I followed the gift full circle.
I woke up a bit sad,
truthfully, for both of us,
released from the wish of what was not to be.
I hope to be able to re-gift it soon,
who truly knows how to value it,
return it to me,
with the dream,
of what could be,
if we build an ark of this love,
sail into the mystic
and invite the world
to the best party ever…
Water into wine,
has always been,
just the beginning of miracles!!!!!