life: acoustic & amplified

poetry, quotes & thoughts about life

word of the day

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Before this early moment,
another, ripe with rain,
the scent of its own full shape.

Each day the rooster
we have never seen
raises the first greeting
and darkness which holds us
in its loose pocket all night
sets us down.

Now we walk,
waking up rooms,
switching on lights.

Into the breath,
wordless but ripe
with all possible words,
messages not yet gathered
or sent.

Morning looms,
more friend than
the best friend.

We could still say.

“Words When We Need Them” by Naomi Shihab Nye

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‘Take care of yourself.’
It’s flung into the air,
Like an accusation,
dripping with sarcasm,
filled with anger.
It snaps me to awareness
as it hits me.
These words are what I call
‘crazy-making’
I am so used to this type of speaking.
This tone of speech.
Such frenemies with these types of words,
used to manipulate.
Words which could be good,
words which are so tricky,
so twisted,
brilliantly used,
back handed.
Words which,
if you try to confront the person who said them,
leaves you looking
crazy,
petty,
unsatisfiable.
They always say you took their tone wrong,
they really meant the actual words.
So fascinating to me –
the same exact words can be
used for love
to build up
or twisted,
spoken in hate,
jealousy,
anger.
These words used to be able to make me feel things –
selfish,
guilty,
like I had done something wrong.
Today it stings me into
an opposite awareness.
I propel through
this kaleidoscope of emotion
to land at truth.
I respond,
‘Are you speaking to me?’
‘Yeah’
‘Oh, ok, you take care of yourself too’, I reply.
And I mean it!
This is my gift to both of us today.
I sit still and
quickly sift through memories,
lessons learned
from all the other times
all the work I have done
to learn to take care of myself.
The Love of God leading me,
to this place,
where I know for sure –
my value,
my worth,
my belovedness.
Not more than others,
but equal to all.
I’m still learning.
I’m still challenged,
to truly take care of myself.
and only myself.
To realize the truth
of this truth –
IF God is in control.
IF I truly believe,
then…
no one needs my help.
Truth. Period.
My actions must come from who I am,
my only motivation love,
not to make me worthy,
but because of my worth.
It can never be
about doing something to help someone else with who they are.
Only an out pouring of my own love.
I hear the garage door close,
in just seconds
I have processed eternity.
I look out at my tree named Shaun,
meaning: YAHWEH is gracious.
My prayer,
as I sit here
ruminating about these changes in me,
‘Lord, make me an instrument of your light
as I live in Your love.
Thank you for revealing to me,
my value.
Thank you I can say ‘no’
to relationships
where this crazy-making speech exists.
May I never forget.
May I share
Your love,
my love,
where You lead me.
May I only take care of myself,
my own heart before You.
May I be, and bring, the light
of You,
shining through me,
as I feel,
and express,
Your love.
May I continually let go
of anything that I am holding on to.
May I allow others to take care of their own hearts,
as we each choose our walk,
and find our own paths of healing…
or even choose not to.

ACL 7/11/13

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